and the strolling world of Ohreland
Ohreland's glorious legend / Ohreland's Nomenklatura
luxurious whorestitute
drums / vocals
An empty soul in a dreamed body, a vomiting bag in a velveten casket, briefly, a jug made of expensive metal is this Yüla Slipovitch. At the centre of all the quarrels since the beginning of times, this lively incarnation of the original Eve does not content with crunching the apple, she makes the seller pay the biggest price. Her front attires and her back ones, and those from between both and her coper and muslin inside transform her in the dreamed partner of all inhabitants of Ohreland, except the tyrant and Capt'ain Roses. That's much a pity as the prudish and untidy damsel would be ready to leave all her plastic ducks to spend just a night in an enamelen bathtube in the gaunt of Capt'ain Roses shoulder. Even the marvelous poem of love Casius Clay had sent did not manage to charm her. It has to be said, however, that this hand-written sheet, parfumed with ginger and messed up with pools of tea looked like a puzzle when he finally managed to slide it in the envelop.
militiaman chief
trombone
Tzom Trümb is a senior of the municipal harmony of Rouperroux-le-Coquet (72110 - France). Fired after having, several times, played the funeral march instead of opening the bann, what lead to the death of about fourty war-heroes in a great mirth, he kept the love of the uniform and the march, but also a woeful and a permanent shame he tries to drown with alcohol since then. Some would say Tzom Trümb is binary, as his vital functions are limited to snorring and sleep, but that would be a great mistake, Tzom Trümb is not binary, he is manichean. And his sight of good and bad is as dull and loaded as his breath, and heavily subjected to variations, as it reflects the tyrant's vague desires in terms of repression. Yet, Tzom Trümb doesn't possess a nuclear-duck-gun, but this should not be long, "and on that day, said Casius Clay, it won't be the moment to toss restlessly in all directions !"
dictator
bass / vocals
Wladimir Ohrelianov II is the stumbling block of the strolling world of Ohreland; well instead of stumbling block, one should rather speak of pebble or gravel. Perched since 10000 years on his stilts-shoes, he holds forth, distributes orders and mace blows, following the crazy rythm of his changes of humor. No historian, no philosopher, no champion of full-contact is able to explain why nobody gives him his blows back. There are rumors that this is related to the fact that only Wladimir Ohrelianov II has the power to trigger phenomenal thunderstorms of any kind, applause among others, but also of nuclear plastic ducks...Only Casius Clay wrote a report on this subject, but all the skilliest graphologists say it's unreadable.
pope and suprem scout chief
keyboards / vocals
Second member of the family II (Tooh), Benoît Popol, younger brother of Wladimir Ohrelianov, intended a career of militarian-chaplain for Ohrelander frog-men; career he had imagined full of an extrem absolution and a long friendship, unequivocal, and sticky. Alas, alas, the lack of faith and love he found in the protruding eyes of his parishioners quickly remembered him that, as the proverb from Auvergne tells, "Vechias are not lightche, by Toutatiche !". Convinced to renounce to his entire convictions and wishes, he asked his brother to nominate him Pope of the Mekanik Metal Disco, what was done in the hour. Thus finding himaself at the highest place of the clergy, Benoît Popol could practise the faith and his love of Yvette H. With his manner and as he wished. As a revenge toward the three plastic ducks who shared the benches of the city school with him, Huey, Dewey and Louie, who shamedly made fun of his guidance towards the frog-men - for a dark story of tigh - he nominated himself Suprem Scout, and since that day make the little kids have a rough time... Even Casius Clay, on top of his physical shape, never shivered as much as an altar boy after the church service, let's imagine.
piwate fwom the canawies
guitar / vocals
"Laugh! Laugh! But one day, I'll do Le Mans-Strasbourg via Novossibirsk by swimming on inflating skies propelled by nuclear energy from bathroom..." Listening to this, the mother of the little Roses bent over a bit more on her chair, and doing this punctured her eyes with a fork, whereas his father was ending the erosion of his kneecaps with his hands (he would never be able to stand up anymore). Slaming the door of the family house, the little Roses, lost in his dreams and Rémibrickesque's destiny, left his old elder finish their life in the biggest disability, chose to get the rank of Capt'ain, and flew flat out for a big trip. In the early eighties, he disambarks in the USA to see if "Le Mans, it's on that way, maybe ?", having noticed a huge concentration of 4x4 cars ("Uh, 24, easy ! just like the 24 hours of Le Mans, pfffff..."). He meets there a young boy named Axl, who learns him everything: love, chess, the love of chess, the loving defeats, gun shooting, and guitar, for which the Capt'ain owns special capabilities. After a scuffle for a bandana, the duet breaks down and the treacherous Axl uses the patronymic of Axl Roses and founds a Hard Rock band that has stolen everything to the Capt'ain. During this period Capt'ain reaches Ohreland by a manner or another, exactly when he was asking Casius Clay to smash Axl's face, what unfortunately did not arrive, Casius Clay having a safety pin hammered in his nose after giving a try to pick the lock on.
venusian albinos rastafari
saxophones
The VaGoDor Deu Sahpun is born after the defeat of a Nuclear physics in bathroom experiment lead by the Professor Siphon Troünezohle and called Hennaed Shampoo, Neoprene and Floorcloth for the atomic regeneration of the scalp : modelling and application to the plastic ducks and the sponges. At the moment, it is not possible to describe precisely the process of creation and what gave life to The VaGoDor Deu Sahpun. In the same manner, scientists hardly find the proportions in The Vagodor's composition; one can only advance hypothethis, even if he is undeniably consituted of sponges and florrclothes (hair and capillary system), and of plastic ducks (ambulatory system). The Professor Siphon Troünezohle is pretending he is Venusian, and assesses he had come to Ohreland to became his disciple, as the nuclear physics in bathroom is a high skill research domain in the south-east of Venusia. Concerning his blue color, all the fault returns to Casius Clay, who was in charge of the wash of The Vagodor's bully button with methylene blue.
intensive farmer
percussions
Holder of all the Gallic culture for intensive farming of rubber ducks, and all the merovingian tradition for steel work, Julios Lefranc-Gaulois Kaïser chose a redeployment in the plastic ducks and enamelen bathtubes to actively participate to the scientific excellence of Ohreland. But far from denying his Merovingian and Gallic origins, this veteran of the Gergovian regiment still practices the ancestral fight of rubber ducks armed with a tin dagger, and has opened a bar/fighting room for this occasion. Bets are doing well, and the investment is lucrative, even with the financial failure of Casius Clay's fight with his fork and his pea, fight for which many spectators complained about not having a decoder.
cumming scientist
machines
Professor at the Academy of Infused Sciences with Ohrelander bergamot orange, Siphon Troünezohle is the guarantor of the national safety, in the way he assesses he made the bomb. Moreover, many tries in bathtubes lead him to state the three fundamental principles of the nuclear physics in bathroom:I If a body hits very hard a stick of uranium against the enamel of a bathtube that made nothing to him, there are two possibilities: the stick breaks, we then acquired some bad quality uranium,
the enamel breaks, leading to a leak of the bathtube,
in all cases, the body can feel happy the bathtube does not hit him in return.
II The plastic ducks and the sponges do not understand anything in the nuclear physics, in particular if after saying "Coin Coin" ("I take you in the atomic fallout shelter" in ducks language) one put them in the little plastic basket beneath the tap, they will never move.
III Nuclear physics in bathroom is a rigorous subject, one should never change the battery of the dildo when its receptacle is under water whereas one should finish full of shame (between other things), and singing anything.
This last point is really important, as Casius Clay constitutes a particularly efficient, batteryless and confortable alternative.
divine trinity
sound/lights/web
Mekanik Metal Disco's religion relies on a being out of place and respectable divine triptych:Yvette H.Supreme and strapping divinity with mustache - Web-design
Pak'OtorepDark and limping divinity - Sound
Unam KreutzerEmphatetic and amphibian sarcastic divinity - Lights
missed defuncts
miscellaneous
Nobody drives apart from Ohreland, Ohreland is leaving. This section gathers some illustrious patriots, some traitorous too, including those who created the resistance, and others who, for not beeing anymore happy in Ohreland (temporary nervous breakdown, with no doubt), jumped off the strolling world of Ohreland, and crashed as humans on the floor.
May their soul and their projects rest in peace, even if sole the Mekanik Metal Disco equals the Mekanik Metal Disco...Alter FrabrovitchLieutenant - Keyboards Antòn PinokiovGutter's sportman - Guitar Benito Del AmafiaMarketing man - Trumpet Cristobal Del AmafiaMarketing man - Trumpet Gnania Del AmafiaCountess - Vocals / Flutes Hrabě [Black] SebbathVampire - Vocals Labial AerostickTelevision compere - Alto Saxophone Marx BronosovPlumbering comic - Trombone MeroumaNUnderseas hero - Guitar Mustach'ManMimetic resistant - Vocals P.A.Squale Del AmafiaMarketing Man - Saxophones
... hum... so... Once upon a time... or rather... It was a long long time ago... anyway...
Introduction: The tower of Babybel
... 10,000 years ago, men, carried away by their legendary pride, began building a tower whose size was beyond their own understanding.
From the look-out of this tower, one could easily look into the girls' changing-room, separated from the men's changing-room by a mere partition and missing a roof, so that the Gods could make the most of the sight.
The Gods, at that time, had been digesting for centuries a delightful meal that had been washed down with too much ambrosia; meal to which they had invited the girls hoping that... But these last, even totally sloshed, were rejecting their advances, and the Gods, who were entering their 6533rd day, had not yet created the GHB (it has to be said that between the man, the woman, the sidewalks and thus the gutters and the cars, the plastic ducks and as a consequence the enamelen bathtubes, the sausage - french fries... they had no time left).
Well ! This game could have lasted for a while just in front of the Gods without never noticing anything, if a wise worshipper and completly disinterested with the sex matters had not come to find them in their lustful and divine quarters to point the blasphemy.
The Gods immediately punished men, depriving them of their original language, and making them speak thousands of different languages. They gave them the girls, as they could not get anything from them, naming them Ah ! those women ! and decking them a belly button so that they could know where to look at themselves and that nobody could never forget their priority. To end up, the Gods also deprived them of their ability of artistic assessment, and men never ever heard the celestial music - the Mekanik Metal Disco - as before. Their musical daily life -in the best case- would now be constituted by "category indexed and self-crapping on each other" music in the image of their listeners.
Never ever ? Well, not exactly. In fact, by way of thanks, the Gods offered Wladimir Ohrelianov Tooh -the worshipper who had saved them all from blasphemy and who had brought back denouncement to the foreground - a plot of the Land of men and the secret of the composition of the celestial music - the Mekanik Metal Disco.
So as to have no ambiguity, the Gods presented Wladimir Ohrelianov Tooh with an illustrious dynasty - of which he was the second leader, what gives the possibility to write it: Wladimir Ohrelianov II.
He was also given a piece of Eve, named Yüla Slipovitch, guaranted with no belly button and no taboo, and on whom the GHB would be useless on all likelyhood.
Finally, he was offered a last present : Wladimir Ohrelianov II was given the power to trigger phenomenal thunderstorms of any kind, especially of Nuclear Ducks, a point where the Geneva Convention was amended just for him.
Wladimir Ohrelianov II greedily seized the plot of Land, motorized it right away, taking advantage of his nephew Antòn Pinokiov
, gutter's sportman, and the Lieutenant Alter Frabrovitch
serving as a foreman and using the pneumatic whip-drill.
Thus was born, in the year of 10000 years ago, the strolling world of Ohreland and the burlesque immensity of Sebkha-Chott.
Day One: Universal Sufferage
On the first day, the Ohrelander empire instantaneously became populated by the 12,523,767 workers and the 53,723 plants of Mekanik Metal Disco production, which would transform it in a flourishing empire.
The universal sufferage was invented in the hour, and after a few minutes of self-torture, Ohrelander workers elected with a unanimous + 1 vote Wladimir Ohrelianov II as the eternal ruler of their sumptuous empire.
And thus would it last for enlightened centuries, with no darkness and no strike.
Day Two: The Media Erection
On the second day, the television and the radio were, and at the same occasion, the Ohrelander service of propaganda.
In this honour, a great drawing lots was organised to reveal two undisputable talents. Labial Aerostick
, young idol for communicant, became the official star presenter of O'Real TV, although Marx Bronosov
, regarding his undeniable qualities of plumber-heating specialist-electrician-tv repairer, was engaged to repair the taxpayer's televisions. This exxxhausting task attributed for the Golden Hot Globe awarded by the heating ohrelander women for his role in Haemorrhagic variations on the triple anal.
On this second day, the Mustach'Man
-jalous from the two winners as he was pretending being able to play both roles frontally thanks to his bacchantes- founded the stagnant and underground resistance, of sinister memory..
Day Three: The XIth Commandment
On the third day, Moses brought down the table of laws, which smashed in thousands pieces. We reconstituted it as much as possible, what made appear, divine action among divines acts, a new commandment:
If Yvette H. has more mustach than hair,
To her picture, you will not compare.
Thus the mustache, you will not wear.
During this period of prohibition, trades of poor quality mustaches, more or less pastiche, was a dangerous black market, illegal, but lucrative. The underworld naturally appeared, under the awkward features of Cristobal Del Amafia
, who quickly became close to Wladimir Ohrelianov II.
Day Four:The Deluge of the Stock-Exchange Crach
On the fourth day, Wall Street and the first CAC40 went down during 40 days, and the stock-exchange's crowd drowned beneath the waterline of economical render. All of them, except the Counts Benito
and P.A.Squale Del Amafia
who had met again their godson in fruitfuller investments : Ohreland.
Then, from the stagnants water, came out the sea-monster MeroumaN
who shot other creatures who fought him the star billing, even doing a barbecue of a whole roast sheep with mint and a stuffed ewe's paunch sauce with the Loch-Ness.
The divine punishment had reached the seamen, who, deprived of their crafts, began to wander from bar to bar, drifting off...
During these days of liquidity, Tzom Trümb, back from a long trip over the flows of the gutters, drew alongside the Ohrelander sides, like an Egyptian Prince, but a bit less cute.
Wladimir Ohrelianov II welcomed him, and put him under the aegis of the trinity of the Mekanik Metal Disco to rule the ohrelander rivulets.
Day Five: The Ducky-Nuclear Beltan's Fires
On the fifth day, the strolling world of Ohreland ran out of petrol, the direct consequence of Antòn Pinokiov's death. Plenty of pumping Shadoks divisions were imported in Ohreland, without any result. The safety came from an old man, named Siphon Troünezohle, banned from the Earth of boys and girls for having practised some Nuclear physics in Bathroom experiments.
From this day, the strolling world of Ohreland was propelled by nuclear energy from bathroom.
The people celebrated the joy of the trip with huge Beltan's fires and, on the twilight of this fifth day which lasted 39 weeks and a half, the Del Amafia delivered their daughter, the Countess Gnania Del Amafia
.
Day Six: The Baptism and The VaGoDor
On the sixth day, Hrabě [Black] Sebbath![Hrabě [Black] Sebbath - Dead on the seventh day](/pix/staff/morts/seb.jpg)
, vampire imported from Romania, came to pronounce the celebration of the Countess baptism. The Ohrelanders correponding to his tastes, he took up residence in a cave of Ohreland, where from he began to set about the resurection of the resistance from its ashes, the beardy Ohrelanders being quite tastefull.
Terror and misunderstanding darkened this day full of felicity as it was during late Mustach'Man,of sinister memory. Sole a total immersion in the religion and the culture of this swell could make it possible to hang on during these hours of torticollis, and that's the way Benoît Popol II was appointed Pope of Ohreland, to maintain stiff the spiritual rod, and Capt'ain Roses brought his nice face in the ohrelander gallery.
Reaching the term of a relentless research, the alchemy of the old Siphon, pushed to its paroxysm, revealed, during these moments of intense needs, the good natured and blue face of VaGoDor Deu Sahpun, about who no religious transcript could say what would be his utility...
Day Seven: The Merovingian and the Plastic Poultries
On the seventh day, the last descendant of the Del Amafia Family bursted into tears during Hrabě [Black] Sebbath's funerals, finally captured and whos trial had been done publicly in a wish of transparency. The Countess Gnania who had for a long time and secretly loved Hrabě [Black] Sebbath, was incinerated under the diluted form in which one mopped her in the time of the Trinity of the Mekanik Metal Disco.
At this occasion, the essential usefulness of the sponge was demonstrated, and it didn't take a long time to say we were also missing some plastic ducks, some bathtub made of enamel, and some noble blood from great lineage.
Then, in the doorway of the high speed train that brought him here, sprung up the last merovingian, Julios Lefranc-Gaulois Kaïser, coming with thousands of plastic poultry carried by enamel tubs.
Yet, nothing could himper the inexorable upward and burlesque walk of the strolling world of Ohreland...
Day Eight: Your Day
The eigth day, we came back to work, hey hi ! hey ho !, and this day stretches from that time
The eigth day, the eyes redden by tears, You
followed a stopover of the strolling world of Ohreland and saw Sebkha-Chott's magic operate and You will see many other.
The eigth day, You came in Ohreland at a non early our -we have to admit-, and You, since that moment, share your place in the authors' pantheon, lovers of Mekanik Metal Disco who will write this eigth day until the last minute of slap and tickle of Sebkha-Chott...
Next Stopover(s)
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